In my last post I talked about how hard it can be to do the simple things we need to do to change our money habits and money relationship. So here are the 6 steps to breaking through money resistance and they form the basis of my money coaching technique developed from my training and personal experience.
My clients often come to see me when they're feeling anxious, overwhelmed, underpaid and super busy! They have this strong instinct that if they could just sort out the money in their lives then the other issues will be easier to manage or just fall away.
It is true that money affects almost every area of our lives and when that changes, lots of other things change as well.
This is really great news as working on the money is not all that tricky on a purely practical level.
If you visualise how all the parts of your life fit together, like cogs in a clock, then just moving the one cog is going to shift others. The tough part is when one or two of those other cogs, or even the money cog itself, is very hard and painful to move.
So it's not as easy as it sounds, simply working on the numbers.
On top of that for many of us numbers are just the epitome of yawn inducing boredom!! No colours, no shapes, no movement, no sound! And then there are the school experiences with maths which are often traumatising.
So how do you cut through all this and just get the job done?
1. See it
Recognise that when you are not doing the money work you are experiencing.
This is the only reason you are not doing the work.
The only real reason.
2. Put it all in one bag - The Resistance Bag.
You don't actually need to know the what, why, where, when of your money resistance.
I get that i can be satisfying as it gives us something to explain to others, a reason to help us forgive ourselves for our perceived mistakes. And i'm not saying ignore any insight that comes up.
What I am saying is you don't actually need to know in order to move forward, and if you get lost in looking for reasons, trauma etc, you will do just that...get lost! You create yet another layer of procrastination and resistance.
You are just feeding your mind which is...mental!!
What we need to do here is shift the heart.
So if you're stuck just call it resistance and keep going.
The real reason will probably come to you in the shower anyway!!
3. Generate an attitude of self-love and self respect.
You are part of a whole new wave of consciousness around money. You are at the leading edge even thinking about this stuff in this way. You are in a very small minority and whether you are aware of it or not you have moved mountains to get to this point. AMAZING!!
Non-negotiable: say 'I love you' to that beautiful face in the mirror once a day. Whisper or even just mouth it if you must but please do it.
Learning to manage your money well is a supreme act of self love. Your self love muscle MUST grow at the same rate as you do the work otherwise you will find the resistance will get stronger. <3 ,<3 <3
3. Regular Practice
There are many people who can force themselves to clear out their filing once a year and maybe even get clear about money.
But the people who are successful, who get to where they want to be and then set new goals, are the ones who review and review and review and review.
Get the idea?
Just doing the monthly plan once, or the annual plan once and then floating along thinking you've done the work will not get you through to the place you want to be. It may well feel great at the time but that feeling will wear off.
You need to retrain your whole system so you have that satisfaction and sense of safety and control every day. It's seriously a whole new world you are heading for! And working on your money needs to be the ground you stand on. Absolutely non-negotiable! You're aiming for 80% of the time here in order to make significant and lasting change.
4. Create the Time
Play with this. Find out what works and what doesn't. Once a week, evening, morning, at work, at home, daily, in a cafe, etc. Don't be afraid to try them all.
Always have a little incentive though, a glass of wine, a long bath, a movie, a good coffee, time on facebook.
Book it in your diary!!
5. Visualise the Process
Takes a few seconds and seriously clears the way!!
I love doing this. It can blast through every excuse in the world from 'It's Wednesday' to 'I'm seriously so exhausted I can't possibly...'
All you have to do is imagine yourself doing the work for a few moments.
Somehow it removes a layer of avoidance and resistance. Once you can see yourself doing it you move into the the feeling of having completed it. Then you are almost pulled towards completing the task, towards having the task done.
6. Breath Awareness
If resistance is strong there is probably some stuck energy or emotion lurking that may surface when you do the work. Treating the work like a meditation practice supports you in staying with whatever comes up, allowing and welcoming any discomfort.
You may like to put on some meditation music, light a candle and incense, ask for support from whoever you like to call on, a devotional figure, the universe, light, angels.
This is hard work and can be painful and dark at times.
But it doesn't last.
Many many yogi's for thousands of years have used the simple technique of breath awareness for precisely this kind of work. Stay with the breath, stay with your body as much as you can.
And once you have finished the process the discomfort will end and another mountain will have been moved, even though it may not feel like it at first.
So that's a little tried and tested formula for you to help you put one foot in front of the other.
I can't promise that it will make it easy but I can promise that it will help.
Loving you and your lovely money!