The Money and Self Worth Mystery
I used to feel frustrated when anyone suggested that money and self worth were directly related, especially if I was told that to increase my income I simply had to value myself more!
Why did I find this theory challenging?
Because I always considered my self esteem to be relatively good! So being told to 'work' on it felt pretty meaningless to me.
However, over the past few years I have discovered that my money is a reliable source of information. If my income is lower than I would like it to be then there will be a reason for this somewhere in my inner world, unconscious if you like.
I'd like to share some realisations about the money and self worth conundrum and make some suggestions for how you too can dig a little deeper.
What is Self Worth Anyway?
Most of us have aspects of ourselves we love and aspects we are not that excited about. But when we talk about 'self worth' impacting our money in some way, really we are referring to more to complex, often unconscious issues.
We are all completely worthy of a life we love, where we are able to contribute and be nourished and can experience the full range of what the world has to offer, if we choose to.
But few of us are there yet.
When we talk about 'self worth' impacting our lives in some way, really we are referring to more to complex, often unconscious issues. To lump all these diverse inner complexities under one label can be confusing.
Here's an example of how one of these issues was affecting my money.
A Money Insight
When I was 12 my Dad moved in with another family. There was no 'blending' happening despite Dad's new partner having kids of a similar age. Plenty of animosity and unpleasant acting out.
Dad would come round occasionally and take me out for a couple of hours. During this time I would usually make sure we ended up in a record shop and he would buy me a single. (That's a small record with a song on each side, usually a song in the charts ;) When I got home my older sister, who didn't want to see my Dad at the time, would tease me about being mercenary and that felt fine to me as I didn't feel any remorse or guilt. I felt no attachment to being with my Dad at all so I really just considered the single to be 'wages'.
Looking back now it is totally clear why I made Dad pay me for being with him. I was too numbed out to let myself feel his rejection but some part of me wanted him to show me he valued me, even if it was just the cost of a single.
My Hidden Agenda
As an adult trying to increase my income I was still trying to prove to my Dad that I was worthy of more, that I didn't deserve to be left. If I earned more money this would somehow prove my value to him. I would be validated in the world in monetary terms as a person worthy of being taken care of.
For some people this drive to prove themselves is strong enough to override many other forces in their lives. In some cases this may include their own values or integrity. Although they may succeed in creating huge wealth for themselves their core issue has not been healed resulting in considerable dysfunction happening in another area of their lives, such as health or relationships.
Agendas and Money Flow
When hidden agendas run the show you are subconsciously focusing on lack and therefore you are still attracting lack into your life.
That is why it's really great when we have an aha moment, when a small piece of the subconscious story is revealed.
However, most of us have fairly obvious agendas, such as a desire for more freedom, greater security, to have a greater sense of power over our own lives. It's great to be in touch with these heartfelt desires.
When these more conscious agendas are in charge guess what?
They can still keep you stuck in focussing on lack!
So how can you step out of all this?
What to do?
You need to reach for a place where wealth creation is free from emotional charge and the process can be experienced in a fun and lighthearted way.
You have to take the pressure off your income!
But the very real needs and valid desires on your agenda won't just go away, Neither will the unconscious become conscious upon request so that you can release all those hidden agenda items also!
It can feel really hard, and confusing, to step out of 'need' and 'lack'.
Lighthearted Wealth Creation
Work on your money. Develop a habit of tracking your spending, planning ahead and keeping in touch with your plan to accommodate the regular changes in your life.
By doing this you are literally stirring your unconscious mind to reveal its secrets.
Remember your unconscious is hidden because that feels safer for you. You will hit resistance and you will need to be compassionate with yourself. But you will also have to be firm and deeply committed.
In no time at all you will be playing with your numbers without anxiety or overwhelm.
Be on the lookout for hidden motivations behind your desire for financial freedom and security.
Allow emotions to surface and give yourself time to heal. Forgive yourself and any other people who have contributed to suffering in your life, even if it seems unrelated to your money. It won't be!
I agree with the concept of positive thinking but I prefer the tactic of diversionary thinking. Its more achievable and less confronting.
Work on your money when you are working on your money, and be mindful when and how you spend,
The rest of the time FORGET ABOUT THE MONEY!
Focus on the gift you are giving, the lives you are changing, the products you are perfecting. and the fun you are having!!
So...Money and Self Worth
Money work does uncover issues around worth and value. Often those issues are deep and hidden and are running the show.
Working directly with your money will reveal and heal these hidden wounds while also increasing clarity and creativity.
This in turn eases the flow of lovely money into your life :)))
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